(dis)Connect

Ever find yourself daydreaming about a cabin in the woods, with just one rocking chair on the porch and no Wifi? Or plan a stay-in weekend because your week was too people-ey? Maybe the thought of a party with 50 of your friends on Friday night is the only thing getting you through the long boring work week. Do you chat up strangers in every line, waiting room, elevator, or train?

We are all uniquely wired.

Most of us are a blend of traits of both introversion & extroversion. But when it comes to recharging batteries, do you know what drains and what energizes yours? How do you naturally tend to rebuild your capacity? For the solitude-seekers among us, peace & quiet, self-reflection & focus, are how we recharge & energize. Our stimulation-seekers draw energy from social interactions & activites with others.

I think most of us generally try to find a balance between our natural inclinations for seclusion or connection and our other responsibilities in life. With so many competing demands, we can easily lose sight of our mental, emotional, and physical capacity. How do you know when your battery is low? Do you feel it first or does somebody else usually clue you in? Either way, pay attention to patterns:

• Sadness, low mood, a loss of motivation, similar to feeling lonely or depressed.

• Irritability, anxiety, difficulty concentrating.

• Headaches, fatigue, easily getting sick.

• Feeling drained, numb, or trapped.

• Lower tolerance for social interaction, urge to withdraw completely. 

Social Connection or Solitude...how do you recharge?

There are no, "shoulds" when it comes to our capacity and we can't set expectations for ourselves based on what we see others do. We are all uniquely wired. These signs of depleted reserves are helpful indicators that our needs are out of alignment with how we're running the show.

Imagine showing up at the airport for your 6am flight to Cancun. You've got your flip flops, sunhat & passport and you're ready to face the lines and get to your gate so you can buy your $20 Tim's. But the place is chaos! Security staff decided to sleep in because they just worked a month of triple shifts. The plane you're supposed to be boarding is sitting on a runway in Shanghai because Air Traffic Control is off with the flu! And those passengers are a mix of sweaty, loud, and hangry, because the Flight Crew is on strike. What a nightmare!

We all function somewhat like an airport. Air Traffic Control manages all of the information required to direct the planes in a safe and organized fashion; our Executive Functioning (located in the prefrontal cortex) manages all of our self-regulation and metacognitive processes. Security is like our Autonomic Nervous Systems, scanning incoming data for threats and responding with safety protocols. The Flight Crew is like our sensory systems, helping us to maintain a sense of equilibrium while we're navigating the world. If we want the airport functioning, we need to respect and care for all of the people and processes responsible.

So pay attention to how you're feeling, what your body is telling you, what your friends & family are saying, and how you're managing your life, and make adjustments accordingly. Listen to your inner voice, practice confidantly saying, "no", put your energy into that which is meaningful for you, maintain important relationships, plan ahead & protect those plans. Your body (and your loved ones) will thank you.

Unplugging now,